I am turning 18 today and really i am not exaggerating it today has been awful.First I had my period and the cramps is freaking painful then there is also this huge pimple on my left cheek for the world to see.As if this is not enough I caught a really bad cold and I had to sleep all evening although tomorrow we will have finals.Well actually today is the first day of finals.

At school i got my phys try out score out today and I failed it.Sometimes it feels unfair that students who tried to study and did the test honestly got bad marks while students who cheated got a freaking higher mark.uh.Then there is also PE.I cannot play volley.The coach kept on motivating us (read:me and cha”) and asked us to follow his instructions although it was obvious enough that we couldnt bear it no matter what we were fatigued why he couldnt tell arghh.

So basically what i am truly saying is that today was not a really good day but i am trying to be optimistic and i believe that good days and bad days both await us and we will face them and we will survive .

Ps : i hope today will end soon byeee

Here it is another fresh torturing week is waiting us muahh we will survive we will

Perfect Strangers

Blogging right away from my phone,ready to complain about chem again ahaha so yeah I failed one last week and is still going to have another one tomorrow thats why iam basically in a foul mood now.I found that annoying guy i ever known in my life is a actually also super sensitive and thats why im also in the mood of annoying him back for revenge now i dont know how long he will stay mad at me but really i dont even care.About the video above well I found it weeks ago while surfing YouTube and I thought it was so funny.When I was little I was very fond of Disney princesses and I literally bought things with their pictures but as I grow up I realize that most of the stories are illogical or even feel like a blatant lie.This is what they didnt tell you : everybody want to see her falling,to see her tiaras broken into pieces.Everybody envy her not really admire her.

Here is my thoughts over some stories of these princesses :

1) Rapunzel.She is being humiliated during mankind history as an idiotic pretty girl with super strong hair.I mean if she really had hair that is so strong it can be climbed by a prince why didn’t she escape far before the prince come?She can easily tie her hair at the castle window’s frame and jump down until she reach the ground then cut her freaking long hair to free herself,why should be waiting so long?

2)Sleeping Beauty.Aurora is technically has been on earth for 116 years old when she woke up and married.Although there was this magic spell that make her stay young forever but please if I were the prince I won’t marry somebody who was born before my grandma.

3) Cinderella.I only have one question for this story:what is Cinderella’s shoe size?Why the heck women the whole country tried it but nobody can even managed to get her foot in??I’m pretty sure I still can borrow my mom or my friend’s shoes although the size is not exactly like mine.

4)Little Mermaid.Why when Ariel when to the witch she asked for poison to have legs not to help her breath outside the water?Do mermaids have lungs?its far more crucial right?Well I don’t really know about this I never googled whether mermaids breath using lungs or not but I just wonder

5)Beauty and The Beast.Well this is the most realistic story compared to the previous but still now I see this with a total different way from when I was little.Back to that time I thought the moral values of this story is that appearance doesn’t matter it is your heart and character that matter but now I know better:it doesn’t matter if you are ugly or very bad looking,as long as you have a castle and enough money,you can get Belle kissing you and saying how much she loves you.

So the point is I have changed a lot until I can’t recognize myself anymore.Im a perfect stranger to myself.People change,I know I just can’t believe the change can be like this,something I never thought I could be before,that is what I am now.

I have to sleep now,wish me luck for chem!Love ya!

echo chamber: earth-sized & shell-shaped

do you remember when we were younger and they told us we could hear the ocean if we held a sea shell to our ears as if those lifeless husks contained some echo of home? as a naive & introverted…

Source: echo chamber: earth-sized & shell-shaped

This is actually so beautiful and deep.Once hen I was a kid I also had this hobby listening to an empty sea shell evrytime i miss the beach,y mom is the one who told me this magic at the first place

2017 Resolution

I have been lack of self discipline in 2016 so of course I couldn’t fulfill all of my resolutions back then.I don’t want lamenting over this fact any longer because this is new year and that’s means a new start.I know there are a lot of things I need to mend in my life but I decide to be realistic and aim some simple goals to achieve this year,lets just get started.
1)Stay healthy,keep in shape.To achieve this all you need to do is just do exercise regularly.
2)Sleep and study well,in a balance.
3)Overthink less
4)Have more self discipline
5)Be confident of your own choices instead of listening others endless negative comments
6)Spend less time on electronic devices
7)Read more books (I only read 11 books,it was 55% from my 20 books goals)
8)Back to your writing habit
9)Eat more fruits
10)Be grateful

PS: Suddenly obsessed with Tibet and baking videos

Handle With Care -Jodi Picoult (Review)

pic from goodreads

pic from goodreads

Title :Handle With Care
Author :Jodi Picoult
First Published:2009
Country : USA

“All you ever really had was yourself,and that sort of sucked if you were less than reliable.”-Amelia

Charlotte O’Keefe has got a 5 years old daughter called Amelia when she met Sean O’Keefe.After a meeting that Charlotte’s bestfriend Piper Reece arranged,they started dating and got married soon.They have been trying to conceive for nearly a year and began seeing Piper Reece who is also an obstrician for months before they finally naturally conceived.Charlotte gave birth to a baby girl called Willow who suffered OI aka Osteogenesis Imperfecta.Her bones are so fragile and break easily.Before her birth she had already had 7 breaks and during her short life time she had had 64 breaks.Although life is pretty abnormal with the breaks,this small family continue to live happily.Until Willow was 6 years old and a vacation to Disneyland turned out to be a disaster,Charlotte suddenly filed a lawsuit suing her own best friend Piper for malpractice.This suit is known as a ‘wrongful birth’lawsuit.This means that Charlotte was saying she wished she could abort Willow if she was informed earlier about her disease.This lawsuit,in fact has ruined the family.Sean also filed a lawsuit against his wife and later he also legally asked for a divorce.Amelia turned into a bulimic teenager,a shoplifter,and everything she wasn’t before.While Willow herself feels so bad for herself because she knows her mother doesn’t want her and she feels she is not being loved.Charlotte filed that lawsuit for the money the might have if she wins,the money she can use to provide a better life for Willow,for buying her a new sport wheelchair,an adapted car,pamindrote shots,and everything that can make her daughter experience life to its fullest potential,but is this a wise choice?

I love Willow O’Keefe since the begining.She is smart,lovely,and just wonderful.That’s why I hate Charlotte sorely.Not just because she committed to say that she wants to abort her daughter in the court,even though it’s just a lie but also she betrayed her bestfriend .My favourite character here,however,is Piper Reece.What I like the most about this novel is how Jodi describe Amelia’s feelings because it’s exactly what I often feel.The words is powerful and swing my emotion ups and downs from the very beginning.The ending is what I found so disturbing.SPOILER ALERT!CONTINUE READING AT YOUR OWN RISKS:Willow died at the end,not because she broke,but she was drown.Somehow I didn’t feel the emotion while reading this scene I don’t know why,although I don’t cry easily over stories and movies,but still I didn’t feel even a slightest bit of sadness like when I read My Sister Keeper and Anna died.I feel Jodi is going to repeat her plot twist success in My Sister Keeper but this one didn’t turn out to be as good as the former one.The ending ruins the whole amazing story but afterall the process of reading all of the chapters are wonderful and I still found myself willing to write a review for this one.I recommend this one esp for Jodi’s fans.
I wonder why this cake is named after lemon although it contains just a very very very little lemon.I guess that’s how people are being labelled too.Just only because of a small act a person do they are being called after that.If you make that small act a good one,you are known as a good person,and vice versa.This post afterall has been too long but I think that’s okay because this will be my last post in 2016.Happy New Year folks!!!

Plot : ★★★☆☆
Characters: ★★★★☆
Writing : ★★★★☆
Story : ★★★☆☆
Pacing : ★★★☆☆
Cover : ★★☆☆☆



Be Something Beautiful

I have been on a movie marathon tonight and for this one:lesson learned-sometimes we have to be a bitch to build our career and neglecting everything else in our life and that’s good as long as it is your own choice and not because you have no choice.Miranda is not the bad guy here just remember it,some people are destined to be like that and we need that kind of people in our life too.Just make sure you know your role in this mad world and just do your job.4 from 5 stars.

Aboout this one,I know it’s an old movie but I haven’t watched it until today seriously I have missed one of the best cartoons ever.I loveee this a lot.Highly recommended!

Prisoners Of Time

Somos prisioneros del tiempo | We are prisoners of time  pict creds to @belilabelle

Somos prisioneros del tiempo | We are prisoners of time
pict creds to @belilabelle

Speaking about time,it’s has been a while since my last post.I actually have been thinking to post about Belila Belle since months ago but it seems like I never actually have the time!She is Mexican a photographer,art director,and realism poet and her works are totally awesome,especially this one.The pictures and the captions are always deeply related and outstanding,they make you think, urge you to sit down and reflect about it for a while.Everytime I did it,I ended up wondering and being amazed about how genius she is.That photo up there and the caption is related to each other.If I came across to that photo of a Daniel Wellington Watch with concrete pillars bounding its owner’s hands without reading the caption,I could have passed it and continued to scroll down and missed a masterpiece.Also if I only read the caption without any photos with it,I won’t get the feel as when there is an illustration completing it.Belila expresses her provoking thoughts in one or two sentences with a picture and as we all can see,she is really good at it.

All of us can never ever escape time.It’s funny for me to think that I often don’t have time for blogging or reading or for work out while time is actually always there.You never actually live your life without time being passed,it always goes on with you,with your life.The concept of time itself has been confusing me until now.I never really understand it.I am always interested in this subject although to be completely honest,trying to understand a wormhole diagram or relativity theories makes me feel like a total loser.I read it while I am alone and nobody is watching me because I just don’t feel like people know this.I know it’s weird for a 17 years old student slaving over wormhole theory diagram in her free time but yeah I have said this for a 1000 times to you that I’m weird all you can do is just to deal with it.

Days by days passed,months by months,then years by years.Suddenly I’m already in my senior year and I’m going to turn 18 next year and I’m terrified as heck.What is time and where it goes?This is one of my biggest questions in life.Reaching 8th grade I finally concluded that time is maybe just an illusion.It doesn’t actually exist but it is there.Yeah,so damn clear and understandable right??Pardon me.I thought that the concept of ‘years,months,weeks,days,minutes,and seconds’ is created by mankind,isn’t it?So,basically it is just an illusion,an abstract concept we created to organize our life,to mark some important events ever happened in mankind history,to report and highlight life.If I create my own time concept like 22 ticks of the clock means a seconds and 66 ticks means a minute,I don’t change the time itself.Time still goes on.I don’t change anything,I only change the way how to measure time just like there are many ways to measure lengths an inch means 2,5 cm etc.That’s why when people ask me ‘What time is it?’my brain always processing so many possibilities.That question can be answered by ‘ we are 3 hours earlier before the breakfast’ instead of ‘It’s 4 Am!’Uh okay I don’t want to think further about this because my head hurt.I will continue to talk about this later,let’s just move the topic to something lighter.About this week,my hormone fluctuation has been a bipolar pendulum once again and what is sad about it is that even when now I have been so MINDFUL and TOTALLY AWARE about it I still can’t change anything.I can’t control it,my emotion,my sadness,my sudden anger.I mean,in my mind,in my head,I am self-conscious about some responses my body gives and I try to control it,I try to get rid off feelings because I don’t like it,it makes life harder,but I failed.I think I can give it a try again next time because nothing is worse that knowing than you can’t control your own being,that your freedom is actually being violated by your own stupid hormone fluctuation darn it.I want to be in control of my own happiness,is this too much to ask?

Just watch a good movie,this is fun and worth to watch!4/5 stars from me!

Have a good night!See ya next ‘time’ ahahha!

School Is Cool


If I could say something to Life I definitely would scream out loud “Peace life!Peace!我 累 死 了!”

School has been so hectic.This week we have had finals and we still have math,english,and bio next week.I caught a really bad cold last Sunday so I didn’t have my final on Monday (it was PE and Religion).I still feel a bit under the weather until today.I live in a country with 2 seasons and now we are in the rainy one.The weather of course is colder than in dry season but still actually the temperature itself is still bearable but what I can’t handle is the air-conditioning.Every room at school is equipped with 2 or more air conditioner and during the finals we all feel like the room temperature drops several degrees till my hands feel stiff and my skin is freaking icy.I think this is really weird and wrong.The purpose of having air-conditioned rooms is to adjust the temperature so it can be comfortable for us living inside but why it goes wrong until reaching that point where the air-conditioner makes us even MORE UNCOMFORTABLE than before,isn’t that funny eh?Okay,so that’s only one example of my problems at school.Every high school student must understand that I was saying this to my hunny bunny 9th grader pals when they asked me about high school life tips:expect nothing, try to survive,and don’t forget to breath regularly esp in senior year.

This is what I feel whenever I caught a cold or cough,or influenza.I can’t even peacefully taking a rest at home last Monday.Because right after I went home from the doctor and got the medicine I couldn’t turn on the TV,put on my pjs and called it a day,I still had chem final to revise for the next day.What’s wrong with my life huh.Aaaand the most beautiful thing is finals,grades,projects,and presentations are not your only problem!I would be dancing like a mad horse if it so!Tell you-grades and finals are just 1/10 of all the problems’ probability you probably meet!Ha!High School is cool right???


What’s the other problems?Say it a quarrel with a best friend,getting detentions,1000000 complicated plots that may occur during a school day (love-hate relationship,endless crushing(s)guys/girls,pointless random talks that will end up making you feel bad for yourself,self-esteem crisis periods,bipolar hormone fluctuation phases,exhausting conversation with your ex(s),and the list goes on)

But don’t worry high school is not just a mixture of endless nightmares and horror dramas.Like everything in life,every tear follows by laughter and happiness.What is good about high school is that you don’t have to go through all that nightmares alone!You’ve got friends along the journey.even if you are just an ordinary student and nothing as the school queen bee or kind of I’m sure you will still have some friends,some who are real and will always stick around even in your worst time of the year.If you are somehow being bullied in school,being thought by everyone as a freak etc,try to change.Society is cruel and people can be very mean sometimes here in high school but everybody deserves a second chance.Try to change,learn to socialize,be shallow sometimes it doesn’t hurt!Be kind and nice to people and you will find that people actually is not that bad .I am not saying that you are for sure won’t be bullied if you are nice,it’s not a guarantee,there is nothing for sure here,but at least you try.Whatever will be,will be.You can’t stop the future from coming although you are afraid of it.Life is dynamic,it goes on,so make sure you can go with it well.Don’t try too hard,try to just go with the flow,and hopefully everything will be alright.I have to go to sleep now,bye!Hope this is motivating instead of depressing like heck,see ya!

suberin cells

suberin cells

plants cell

plants cell

fungi cell

fungi cell





Sometimes it feels weird to realize how fast time flies.Like I have said before last week we had a photo-shoot for our year book already.I can’t believe I will leave school soon.I have been a student my whole life,spend 75% of my life for school or doing school project or olympiad.Probably that’s why I am scared.How my life will be without morning classes,chem exams,and tons of school workloads?I actually love changes but somehow this change feels too much for me.The idea of turning 18 next year also scares me somehow.Like I have been consuming oxygen for nearly 2 decades but still I haven’t done anything good yet for this planet.I want to matter.I always want.Actually I want to write about my opinion about education (esp senior high school edu) in my country here but I have promised you that this one will be a post about our photo-shoot detail so let me just start without further ramblings.


It was a Sunday morning and it was humid as heck.We arrived at the location at 8 am (after done with make up stuffs ugh but what I love from Renny Su make up is that she is so professional she could do the entire make up in 30 mins and the make up turned out to be so natural the way we want it) and the sun was already shining so bright I could have fainted lol.That’s not all because when we got deeper into the woods it got even hotter,more humid,and as if that’s not slaughtering enough,more mosquito-s!So many mosquitos we couldn’t stand.There was nothing fancy happened and everything is (like usual) not as good as expected.Thanks God I have been adapted to live without expectations so yeah basically no remarkable disappointments.I don’t know what to say more about this, let’s just let the picture do the talking…

MUA by Renny Su,photographed by Tristan

MUA by Renny Su,photographed by Tristan

yes,i have photogenic friends

yes,i have photogenic friends

PS:today so many students didn’t go to school because we are all scared of the chaos issued to happen in Jakarta,I still went to school tho because I’m reaching that point when I don’t care what will happen with my life anymore then I started thinking what’s actually wrong with me I’m living in a climate of fear but I don’t even feel a thing I’m so serene

“Life is like an echo,what you send out,comes back.”