This week,has been ridiculously hectic.I don’t get it why uni lyfe is extreme,it is either you have nothing at all to do or you have a bajillion things to finish in a very short period of time there is no in between.And then you ended up feeling highly overwhelmed.
This is what happened this week:
1)I skipped 3 lectures in a row but it was worth the experience I get.So,I spontaneously decided to join a debate competition at the very last minutes before the competition takes place.It will be a long story to tell you everything but we finally ended up bringing home a gigantic trophy.I know I am still-by any definition-a newbie who stuttered a LOT and messing things up all the way long but at least I still feel happy.I am happy because at least I have made a small first step in this ‘debating world’ I have never been involved before.I can’t deny that every time after I join a competition,I will feel smarter and better than I was before.I believe that intelligence has to be acquired through a long process of learning.This is why,I never stop.This is why,I keep on fighting,keep on going.
I have promised myself to practice,practice,and doing better in the future.I want to embrace all the best traits of myself and make the most of me.
2)This morning I went out of town with some commitee members to survey several hotels and villas for end of year meeting.And we had a hella lot of fun.It rained a lot but still okayy thoo.I believe that little things happened at the least expected moments are the one that will actually become a memory in the future.
3)Tasya finally gave born 2 days ago!A baby girl!!!!WELCOME TO THE WORLD ALISHA!!!!
I have to admit that at first it feels kinda weird to know that my very first best friend on earth has been a mother.The day I found out you were pregnant,darling if you are somehow reading this,I felt a little bit shock because hell yeahhh you didn’t tell me before lol!You never even mention anything about having having a baby hahaha.But then after I finally recover from my short-period shock,I started feeling very very excited for you.I am always happy whenever you are happy and I had always know that you really really really love babies!I even wonder why I was shock at first!As your oldest best buddy I should have known this and never question any decision you make in life.I support you,fully,and wholly with my heart ❤
And now after the baby is finally here,I feel so awesome.I feel like well,when I still haven't done anything significant yet with my life,there you are syaa already being a mother for a cute little creature and a wife for a loving husband.I can't deny that -yes,I do feel this so strange.I can't comprehend this 100% but again this is life and the best that we can do is just letting it go the way it wants.
I still remember the day we were just little kids,begging for candies and playing dolls.I still remember the day we entered elementary and everything everything and yet now you are already a mother and it is you daughter who is going to beg for candies to us later.OMG OMGG I can't help I feel so happy,so strange,and so WEIRDLY EXCITED.
This event also provokes my brain to overthink more.I think about how I have been living in this planet for 19 years and still haven't done anything useful yet.I have a new goal for my life.I want to be a blessing for other people,at least for people around me.This is indeed a really difficult goal for me since I am such a piece of shit.I realize that so far I have been a really hard and cold hearted person.I don't do nice thing to people,I am not kind,I am very moody and I have bipolar mood-swings I feel very sorry for people who have to deal with me everyday and have the obligation to love me because I am not easy to love.I am just not.But I want to change to be a better person.Like what I always intensify here forever-I want to matter and I want to contribute.And if I can't be Einstein or Lincoln,the least I can be is a little blessing in other people lives.
See you on another post!I love you peeps!!!