God Is Good

I have so many things to be grateful about.I know that I have never been somewhat so religious here moreover writing something about blessings and God and religion.

I do respect every religious beliefs including atheism and agnotism and everything in between but personally I am a christian and here I am going to share some of my story about how I feel that God has blessed me abundantly until this very second.I am not a fanatic and I dont think that my belief is the only one that is true.I dont write this to persuade you being a christian or what I just want to share some of my thoughts here.An open minded person always open his/her heart to every opportunities to learn about different sides of the story so I hope that this writing will broaden your mind and increase your understanding about why and how some people can be so faithful and dedicated to their religion.

The introduction may leads you to think that this will be ‘a hard to comprehend’post.A post that contains a lot of quotes,biblical verses,experts’opinion,and ’10 reasons to believe that God exists’ arguments.Lol,chill peeps,chill.This isn’t anything like that,not even a single verse will be mention,I just want to list things to be grateful about this week(to be read again in gloomier days),promise!

So,this week has been so amazing.I am not trying to be ironic here.I know that this week is midterm week and I just got awfully disappointing result for listening.Lol the lecturer is so annoying.I lost almost 12 points just only because I typed 300.000 which is Indonesian writing format instead of the international format (300,000) and since the exam was computer based and the computer couldn’t read indonesian format so yeah bye bye points.

Currently I am enjoying a 3 days break before having basic acting mid term rehearsal this wednesday.Okay I am getting random now so back to topic some great things that just happened during this week are:

1)Last Saturday I went shopping things with Maggie.I was wavering between buying nail polish or korean face mask because both are in the same price.Since I am the most indecisive girl on earth I let Maggie decide for me and I ended up buying 97 Love Affair In Bel Air Nail Lacquer.The color is nude baby pink,soo pretty!!

What’s amazing is that on Sunday my aunt who resides in Singapore had just come and gave me a bag full of korean masks.They are creamy whitening masks and smell so good.I really dont know what to say I just happen to know that it is not just the universe being nice with me but it was one of God’s blessings in my life.I have experienced things like this for so many times in my life.Like when I was 6 years old and I craved cheese lasagna so badly.I didnt tell anyone but I prayed.Then out of sudden a package of hot pippin’ lasagna arrived in our door,sent by a friend of mum (she didnt even understand why).

2)Also on that Saturday I consider buying new earphones because mine has already been so worn out but I didn’t buy because I thought I have spent too much that day.
Yeah and you know what,the next day my mum bought me new pink earphones in a Japanese retail store.We didn’t visit it on purpose and I didn’t even utter a word about needing a new earphone and for your information mum never ever know or want to know about my earphones’s condition.In fact she always hate it when I dont listen to her because I am wearing earphone.So yeah can you imagine how surprised I was.

3)I just went swimming this morning and the weather was so nicee.The water was cool and the sun was shining but not too bright it was just perfect.I cannot swim and still learning by the way.Oh and now I feel so happy and healthy.

4)I feel so safe and happy and secure.I can snug in bed comfortably without worrying about International politics and war and my future or whatever hell I usually think about.

5)It rained for the first time in 3 months this evening and I am so happy because I really love rain!!!!

It is true that my whole life I ever question my belief and the existence of God.I have many reasons and stories to tell you about but may be next time.Now I have reached that point when I already have my faith back.My heart has been crushed and hurt and there was time when I couldn’t trust anyone but now I am in the beginning of a phase where I begin to forgive,to try to believe,and to love life again.

Please,just hope for the best things for me.I am tired being negative and depressed.

PS: 正在听着老鼠爱大米 ❤

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Homo Sapiens

I am happy,happy,happy!
I am smiling from ear to ear!
Right now I am sprawled on my bed in the least attractive position possible.Eating sweet cereal right from its box.Life has pissed me off so many times since the last time I got into here.I am tired of being tired and angry of life and thanks God my hormonal fluctuation has been so nice to me these days.I mean yes I have mid-terms and yes I have crazy hectic schedule last week but my current state of mind is happy.Completely happy I cant even believe it.

I am not in love I just dont want you to get me wrong because of that video I attached up there.I just watched that video an hour ago and it makes me think about a lot of things.

About how human beings’ lives are actually so simple and meaningless.I mean look at us!We spend way too much energy to deal with our daily emotions without realizing that we are actually just blindly being driven by our complicated hormonal and nervous systems fluctuation.We are being played by our own body,by our own systems every single day.

In the end we are all just stardust
drifting alone
Looking for something to cling to
In this whole chaotic universe

I have been trying too hard to get everything in order,to be a person people expect me to be.The pressure is hard thankfully.Because then I started to question the truest meaning of freedom and equality of life.Start wondering about my own destiny,my own fate.

Homo sapiens.
that it is.
us.
We are no more than just another species on this planet.Just another living thing.Another living thing with a free soul and a free mind.
We are wired with that special feature with a reason.We are destined to create our own fate instead of just following it.
Yet we are still fated to die,darling
that’s one thing I know for sure.

I am not going to talk more here I just hope that this writing provoke your thoughts to start questioning your existence and making you sure that you deserve a complete freedom to live your life with your own rules without being judge by any other homo sapiens.

because inside,and in the end,we are all the same.