Tired means tired.When you feel tired you actually feel at all that is what tired really is. What a fool I have been this long,thinking that feeling tired means that you are overwhelmed by everything all you want to do is just shutting the world down,while actually it is the complete opposite.Being tired is when you cant feel anything anymore and your chest is empty you dont even remember how it feels,to have emotions.
So if from my last two entries you thought that your geeky girl has somehow magically changed into some shallow, bubbly ,pretty little girl,HA I assure you now that you were REALLY WRONG.What actually happened was just I was tired of everything,literary everything.I’m even tired of being myself.I’m tired for always being the unordinary,the different one,the quirky one,name it,label me I don’t care anymore.This is why I decide to give it a try.I try to not think too much,wear more make ups,visiting current hits spot in town with a bunch of chatty girls friends,and everything everything blah.Aaand….did I enjoy it?Being shallow??LMAO,NO.It was all fun games at first but after a few days it exhausted me,and after a few weeks I gave up.A leopard cant change its spot so I think all I have to do is just be me and let everything happen.For my korean beauty products obsessions,everything I wrote in my last entry is true but what I didnt tell you is that I am still that kind of person who read all of the chemical ingredients of my blush on and skin toner before buying and using it.I freaking googled it and now I have been a self claimed expert in this field.I read about the difference of AHA and BHA and why they are good for curing acne and smoothing your skin, I read about oleic acid and linoleic acid and now I understand really well that they are the reason why hampseed oil and jojoba oil are always being prescripted by my dermatologist.In short-I still cannot be one of those girls who buy cosmetics just based on the pretty packaging without thinking anything else,I just cant.
What I want to say here is that some people who always engaged themselves in academic related activities,such as reading,writting,debating,listening to academical lectures and even watching political news,are always being labelled as nerds or smarty pants or maybe even a genius.This is bias,this really is.People who read non fiction science or Shakespeare in their spare time,or those who listen to political debate on radios every evening, are not always smarty pants or geniuses.But one thing for sure is that they are people who want to be smarter and better,people who want to improve themselves,expanding their minds,and opening their eyes.They are people who think they are not good enough and that’s why they keep on learning,and that ‘s why I never stop learning.
I have been watching Michael Sandels videos since hols and to be completely honest I’m in love with them.Sandel is a really intelligent man with tons of thought provoking questions and I cant help but loving him.I highly recommend these series for those who have been tired of 50 Days of Summer and looking for something deeper and harder to comprehend.Oh and also,after finishing Grisham I actually gave myself a break by reading an easier and happier book-That Summer I Turned Pretty by Jenny Han so maybe the review will come in next post.I’m really sleepy now so see ya!
PS: currently reading Mansfield Park by Jane Austen and actually it is good I cant put it down
PPS: If I am learning something this week it must be self discipline and time management I have always been on time these days!Wish luck to maintain this improvement!I’m trying!!!