Foolish Love

Hidup ini sederhana,manusianya yang rumit.Cinta tidak buta,manusianya yang mabuk.

There is a difference between making a mistake and repeating it over and over again.I should have known this long ago.All that I have ever had is just me myself.It’s true that it is kind of sucked if I myself is less than reliable but yeah whatever however it is still far better than trusting someone too much to just ended up being disappointed (again seriously what a fool I was).

I had give it a try but this is how it always ends.I’m tired of trying.I gave up.
I’m sorry this is not even a post and I dont know what else to write.I am in a mess now although I just got home from hols and hols was so good.Is this just my bipolar mood swing again?Or what again?

Special bonus: 38 Ways To Love Yourself



I have to make it straight before that this post is gonna be a little bit absurd.So,I had had this though long time ago and have been planning to write it for like 6 months but I never did it tho bcos I just dont feel like having the energy to explain my other absurd thought to the whole world.I have been thinking since so long that Rapunzel is actually an idiot being humiliated throughout mankind history.I wasn’t sure whether the Rapunzel story I have known since I was a kid is the original version or not that’s why I just googled it and read the classic original story of Rapunzel.It is basically the same with the one I was told years ago.The story itself sounds weird and wrong for me.What confused me is that nobody seems care about this,nobody realize that this story is silently has had a big contribution in building the wrong mindset of thousands little girls in this terrifying world.

First things first,if Rapunzel really had that magical hair which can be climbed by a prince and Mother Gothe,then why didn’t she escape from the tower long time ago?Why should wait for the prince?She could easily bind her super hair to the windowsill then jump right away to the ground before finally cut it to free herself.It is that simple.In my opinion,this fairytale indirectly tells little girls that the only way for them to be free,to finally can see the outside world,is to be married to a prince.And all they can do before that moment finally arrive is just waiting and singing inside the tower isolated in the woods!This is crazy because,cant you see the symbols used in this story?Waiting means waiting,in most cultures girls are the one who is being proposed not the other way round.She only can wait for a prince to finally propose her.Then,singing.This,for me,is a symbol of efforts girls do to attract the prince.In the story,the prince was attracted by Rapunzel’s dulcet voice at the first place.Yes,reaching this point you may think I have an absurd mind but since my mind has always been a dark paradise then whatever,deal with it please.This blog is my one and only friend to talk about things like this,things I definitely cant tell to my real human friends out there without being judged (again?!seriously?).

Second thing is,this story(and many other fairy tales) was made to make girls (even from super early age) believe that happiness means finding a prince to free them and to give them a castle and crowns,a way to be a princess is to be married to a prince (I see this as social upgrade in our era).Most of us dont see the hidden moral value of this story-Rapunzel had had her magical hair since she was born,the power itself,the power that can free her from her prison was actually already WITHIN HERSELF the whole time but problem is she never even tried to use it,the idea of escaping the tower without the prince help made nonsense to her,her mind is her limit.Just like our Science Club slogan “the sky is not the limit,the mind is”.Mindset is everything you know.Somebody can sacrifice his/her life for a suicide bomb because of mindset,because of her/his belief aka ideology.Minset is what actually moves people,motivates somebody to do or to not do something.Mindset is the most powerful weapon human beings can have.It is our belief that there must be a place in this universe resembles earth and this makes us continuing our research in aerospace and astronomy until we can actually achieve many space discoveries up to now.

I know that I should have used my energy to think about something more important rather than criticizing a fairytale,something like what should I do with my life or what should I do to stop global warming or to save the environment maybe,but truth is I cant help myself.My thought is a wild monster living inside me,eating me whole,it is also pitiless sometimes especially when it comes to criticizing my own life,my own works,and achievements and then I (most of the time) will end up depressed then start rambling here again.Like now.Hah.Back to topic,so my point is as a reader we have to be filter not sponge,because what we read (or what we are told,in this case) subconsciously will affect our mindset,our point of view.A person who only reads books from one radical side without never even had a glance on books from the other point of view,will end up being a closed minded radical maniac.We should keep our mind open by minimal-izing our prejudice to everything.We have to be careful too because little things like stories we heard when we were six somehow actually have a big impact to our current mindset.Stories like Rapunzel however is lovely to hear,everybody loves it but please remember that everything lovely is usually poisonous inside.I myself have a strong belief that this story has the responsibility of sexism in this modern era.Sometimes sexism doesnt come from the opposing sex,the prince is not always the one who humiliates women,sometimes it is the woman who chooses her own destiny to be humiliated,to be seen as an imbicile trapped in an isolated tower,she chooses to not use her super magical hair and wait for her prince helplessly (Oh did i forget to mention that she chooses to sing like a paranoid nightangle inside her cage?)#pardonmysarcasm

My conclusion of my own rambling is this-the power is already within you,use your brain girls,don’t let anyone or anything control your own life.laf ya!<3

not everything nice is good for you 😉

PS:today was awful.I feel so angry because I realized that I cant even control my own life,I cant do what I actually freaking want to do because everybody feels like they have the right to control me,the society,even my own family and friends whom think they are helping when actually they are mentally torturing me,I’m so angry thats explain my ridiculously long speech today in this blog
PPS:graduation is over,I’m finally officially leaving school and I choose not to think about this because there are enough stuffs for me to stressed about right now,enough anger for me to control,I dont have the energy for another extra bonus stressful thing to think about

*photos will soon be attached to another post,i dont want to ruin this writing with my personal stuff (i seems like i cannot blog things that is not about my life even in this one i still found myself typing this PS and PPS)
** just read this post before I logged in here I promise this one is worth to read,just click in this sentence.


hola flo!

So many things happened this week:
1)I learnt that kick boxing is an alternative to have serotonin dope.I feel a rush of adrenaline and serotonin the whole night of my first kick boxing session.
2)Do you ever wonder how it feel to be me?Ha!Just imagine you wake up everyday without any idea of what kind of shitty moods your hormone fluctuation is up to today.I experience sudden urge of anger,sudden urge to cry,an inevitable desire to sleep all day or just staying in a foul mood for nearly 3 days straight.wtheck.
3)Prom was finally over last night and it was hilariously empty.It never crossed my mind before that it can actually be that empty.I mean I already knew that many students wont come but I didnt expect that there would be only 4 people from an entire science had had the feeling that there would be more social students there and I was right.70% of the students were social students.

Do you wonder what on earth made me buying the prom ticket?You all know how I hate parties and social gatherings.That’s right but this time I want to give it a try for the last time.I thought this wasn’t a bad idea.Prom may not be the best night of my life but I should come,shouldn’t I?

The ceremonial party was so good.We all went outdoor,we were literary standing at the roof because the ballroom is on the third floor and lets just say that there isnt any patio or verandah out there.Then the Event Organizer gave us colorful balloons with our wishes being glued on them.After counting down from 3 to 1 we let our balloons fly to the dark night sky,together with the wishes and the crowds’ cheers.My balloon was green.With a wish from a former classmate sticking there.Gwenn,hey,if you are somehow reading this,I got yours!

The rest of the party was stupid tho.I feel like we were a bunch of idiots wearing colorful masks and torturing costumes,wandering around,smiling here and there,faking so much happiness,etc.Disco time wasnt so hype.The food was ( thanks God) quite good and satisfying.What else I can say?Uhm oh,Pini was of course the prom queen.With all that glittery yellow gown,she looked awfully stunning.Yes,I have to admit it,you have a good taste of style,Pin.

I dont know what else to say so I will let the pictures do the talking…

Nah,ridiculous mask!

the entry ticket lol

I still cant believe that high school is really over.Tomorrow will be graduation and that means we will be officially leaving school.This feels weird and wrong.I dont know.I think I have to go to bed now if I dont want to be in another shitty mood during the ceremony tomorrow morning.So,see ya on top!!!