Decisions

What I learnt this week:
1)It is actually not hard for me to make the decision itself,what is hard is to keep it going without being influenced by others’ judgments,society judge and people will never stop judging you know.
2)I know what I want,deep in my heart,what is hard is to believe that I can achieve what I want
3)When things are all so hectic,you hardly feel exhausted,but when everything is finally cooling down,you just realized how tired you actually are.

I’m mentally tired and I can’t believe I have to face another weeks of exams.Sometimes,you know,certain days in your life can be ridiculously awful.Everything is simply not in the right order.Everything feels wrong.My moodswing these days is being a bipolar pendulum and I am freaking tired of it.I’m breaking apart,I don’t know what to say anymore.I’m just somehow so terrified that everything is going to end soon and I don’t know what to do with my life.I’m pretty sure about what I’d love to do or what I want to do in my life but I don’t know how to achieve it and I’m not even trying to think about it now because from my experience I know that we can map out our plans and life into its details but none of it will actually go as expected.Overthinking is killing me now but for your information,it is also so HARD for me to just go with the flow,to just let it be.Help.

this is my last attempts to feel better about my life:
1)Finally you don’t have to do chem and phys anymore,only bio left
2)At least you can full fill your new year resolution to gracefully make your own decision,be your own kind of successful without worrying people judgments *ugh yes I survived although it is not easy at all*This is your life,do what you want to do,they will always judge you no matter what you do,I have learnt my lesson.

Want to know what?My instagram save is currently full of my want to read books and pictures I want to draw but never did because of too little time,oh and make ups products to order online as soon as possible (I’m not broke but I hate spontaneous spends okay)Oh and pretty little liars end game is finally out but still I dont have time to catch up Im still in season2.

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