Tuesday Deep Thots

Midbreak finally commences omg.But still I have workloads to do.We just finished a row of midterm tests last week and then we still have our math assignment today just before we got our report book.We have 5 days break including the weekends but we STILL have to revise for another math test on Tuesday and Physics on Wednesday.So,from this side,what can you conclude about my life?Terifyng?Boring?

All I need Is Just a cup of tea and a really good book

This is what happened when you stared at your night tea too long:you have freaking deep thots you feel nausea you have too much too handle

I really don’t know what else to say.I have promised myself to be more positive and try my best not to overthink about dying,eugenetics,my own future,and all.It’s hard.Damn hard.This surprises me so much,I mean,am I really that negative minded?It’s funny no matter how we had our plans mapped out,to the details listed,and nothing ever goes as we planned.Like what I have mentioned in my last post about my chem test which I did on the wrong paper test.It was out of my control.Of course this whole thing is not just about tests and school assignments,this is about all things in our lives.I don’t want you to think me as an academic oriented student (which partly is true because I join the school olympiad team and science club).My life is not just about revising for exams,doing math problems,dedicating hours for memorizing craps just for the sake of grades.Heck,no!I have a life more than that.I watch TV shows (read:Pretty Little Liars),Taiwanese Dramas,sci-fi movies,and I also read books that is not about mad sciences,do yoga every Saturday,go swimming every Sunday (not really eh),etc.Long story short,I still have a life.But sometimes most of the time I feel like I am forced to do something just for the sake of that thing.I know it’s confusing but what I mean is that I often do something just because I have to,I’m obliged to,not because I want to.Getting good grades is easy if you dedicate your life to just revising and memorizing and practicing for those tests but there will come that time when you are not defined or measured from your score or report book but from what you can actually do,your skill,your personality.Oh my why am I talking about tests again?Maybe because the pressure is so real,test after test,making us feel obliged to not fail it.Huh.I’m an avid believer that learning is actually has to be fun,teach us a lesson for our further life.I don’t know what I should take for my further education,I’m wavering between medical or literature.I don’t know what to do but thankfully I still know what I want.I feel pity for my friends who don’t even know what they really want because they are too often being forced to do something,feel obliged to do something till they reached that point of life when they suddenly realize they don’t know what they want!When they look back all they can see is just they did things they were told to do.All right so the point of this writing is just that(this probably has sounded like a broken record by now)I don’t want to do something just because I feel obliged to not because I want to.

It has started raining since early of this month (climate change yeah,but I’m happy!I don’t know rain seems to have that power to calm my nerves down and makes me sleep better)

Now,I want to list my’current want to do [s]’:
1)Listening to Numb by Roomie,thanks to Maggie for introducing me to this song
2)Listening to Sweet Escape!
3)Sleep soundly on my own bed with new sheets and warm blankets
4)Read The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan
5)Make stop motion videos
6)Watch make up tutorials esp by Nanda
7)Stop worrying about things
8)Watch Me Before You

Maybe I better doing  one of those things now,instead of lamenting facts and doubts here.See ya!


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