Too much sweetness makes me nausea.Everything sweet,name it caramel popcorn,lollipops,white chocolate,milk pudding,cotton candy,etc is always easy to love.I can tell that I have a sweet tooth I can eat the whole candy shop down if I’m told to do that but sometimes,just sometimes I feel nausea because of sweetness.By this I literary mean the sweet junkies and also those fake sweet words people say in front of you thinking(or pretend?) that you don’t know what they actually think about you.I’m tired of this.Pardon me,maybe I’m just tired from last night’s party.It was another sweet 17 bday party and all I can remember is that her dad was being sweet giving her surprise and asked for a dance.I don’t know why I always feel kind of drained after any social gatherings/social interactions even as simple as a good deep talks with my closest friends.I’m having enough of everything.I don’t know what to do and what(or who) to believe anymore.I’m also scared that somebody from my real life read my online entries here and use my own words to find my weaknesses and then backstabbing me.People will always judge,no matter what.Oh and my last night’s lesson was : society have tendency to classify themselves,thinking who is and isn’t deserved to be their friends,to seat at the same table with them etc.In every society there is always that one person being unwanted by anyone without reasons (sometimes because their physical appearance maybe).From what I see I think it happens in this way:some famous students don’t like this very person,then the other students start not wanting to be this person’s friend because they want to be friends with the famous students who don’t like that very person.This pattern then chain-mailed to the whole school and nobody notices or willing to stop it.
Okay so this week (esp last night) was gross and awful.I couldn’t sleep well for 3 days straight.Don’t ask me why.It feels like your heart beating so fast and so hard and your brain keep on working,working,and working,overthinking everything in your life.You have this vague feeling inside your head that something is going to be wrong and you have to do something about it but you don’t even know what is it so all you can do is just staring at the ceiling with your body lying still until 2 AM.Nah,you know the struggle huh?So what’s the point of this post?It’s pointless haha just like my other posts.I love writing and I keep on writing everything I want to.I can write what I want to write without worrying what people would think about me.What I like about blogging is that you can choose which people’s comments to be approved and which to be rejected.That’s so cool,I wish I could do the same in every conversations I have.I imagine there would be a dialogue box pop up in my mind ‘Clare want to say that your cotton candy looks disgusting.OK.CANCEL.’Me:’CANCEL’.That will be great!!Don’t know what to write next so I decided to stop and try some sleep.
Wish you a good day!