I don’t know what to do.Or what more to say.Or how to act.Or even how to think.
This is how much I have screwed up in my life,in my head.I do think that our society is on the way to be homogenous.You know,you go get a degree,you go have a proper aka well paid job,you go married,you go have kids,then you die.No variation.I have talked to a friend of mine about this but she didn’t understand what I mean * sigh.I don’t know to whom I should talk,besides to myself here in my very own private blog.
I realized these days,after I go to a funeral,that I actually don’t want to die.I mean,not now or next year.I want to be ready first.Ready for what?I don’t know.Death for me now isn’t relieving it’s terrifying but so do life.I don’t find any pleasures in both tho.I realized that what I really want is just to turn back time into emptiness,for me not happening from the first place.I don’t know if this is wrong or right.I don’t even know what is wrong or right anymore.The border between them seems to be more blurry everyday.What is right and what is wrong is totally depends on the way you see it.It’s just a matter of perception and maybe our whole world is also a big lie,an illusion created by our brain and receptors.
Don’t say I’m crazy.I’m just saying what I need to say when nobody wants to hear.
PS: I’m watching pretty little liars and well do you know my opinion?I think A is not a single person.Anybody who at the moment feel doesn’t like a particular member of them can terror them ,using ‘A’ as their identity.I even also think about backstabbing ,I mean some of the messages could be from their own friend like Aria got messages from Hanna or vice versa.Oh and I love Aria’s style and make up and clothing.