I have promised not to mention the word ‘stress’ again so I changed it to ‘errors’ ugh.First I should make it straight that this is not a book title by Divakaruni,it is ‘The Unknown Errors of Our Lives.Actually I was thinking of naming this post as ‘The Fault in Our Lives’ but it sounds so cliche so here we are.The Errors in Our Lives.Really pathetic.I don’t know why but these past years I always examine how life goes on,either me or others,all of us,has those certain things that go out of order,slip away from paths we have planned.We call those certain things as errors.And those errors built insecurity,give stress,drain our energy,and also steal our happiness to a far far away country beyond the imagination.
None of us has it easy,remember that.Life is simple,but not it’s just not easy.Life is a challenge for everyone but what actually matters is that do we take this challenge as an opportunity to win or an obstacle to gain happiness?I have just had a field trip with a somewhat religious session in it,and during the session,one of my religion teacher asked us “Is there any higher goals in your life but to achieve happiness?”I was so drowsy that time but this question has startled me,it just stroke me like a heart attack in the middle of depression and boredom.I only wonder why life is so unfair or why it is so difficult just to be happy.Things always stressed me out and I don’t know why.I just want to be happy and alive.
I’m not clinically depressed but I know about this.I know that when you are having enough with life,the only thing you want is death.I read that note written by a suicidal child in The Perks of Being a Wallflower.The kid in that poem wrote ‘Absolutely Nothing’ for his last poem before he died.And he wrote nothing in it and I know why,because there was nothing he wanted or felt.It just nothing.It just the emptiness.No ache,no laughter,no butterflies anymore inside your stomach,no stars in the gleam of your eyes.There is just a deep black hole of emptiness and nothing-ness.
Some of us maybe wonder why it should be our parents who divorced
Why it should be us who failed on maths
Why it should be us who argued with our siblings
Why it should be us who have to finish IB
Why we should be alive
Why we should be born on earth and not on Mars or Jupiter
In fact we always wonder about everything,about the errors in our lives.I tell you,we will always find errors in our lives as long as we are still alive cos it just what life is about.Surviving.I try to see the bright sides of everything and being full of positive energy everyday.Believe me.It is harder than flying to the moon without rocket.It’s still possible but so hard to do.I try to think that I’m lucky enough to have an opportunity to study about polygenic inheritance and DNA restriction map but i keep on wondering;’Is this really my pathway?’Did I take the wrong turns again?(for your information I have taken thousands of it before)The answer is…I don’t know.And I will never know.Cause I myself,is the one and the only answer.
For those who are currently battling with one of those errors in your life,I don’t know whether it is a fatal disease,a divorce,self-centered problems,a fight with your parents or girlfriend/boyfriend,bullying,school stuffs,or maybe a combination of them.I hope you will survive.We have survived a lot and we will survive whatever is coming.