There will come a time in a lifetime when finally you are getting tired of everything and begin to ask philoshopical questions like “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” “What’s the purpose of my life?”or “Why does life is so unfair?” or maybe even “What is fair?Is there even any fairness in this galaxy?In this universe?”I began asking those sort of questions when I was only five.The very first question that bothered me was,”Who am I?”I’ve been spending years for looking the answer and ’till now I still haven’t found it yet.And I doubt I will find it one day.I think it maybe will be the deepest mystery of The Life itself,which it want to keep as an eternal secret for itself forever.
I always hate,and scared of oblivion.I hate to admit that a million years from now on,nobody will remember my name or even what I’ve done,no matter what great things I have done during my life time.I’m certainly sure that 100000 years from today,Thomas Alfa Edison or Marie Curie or Rosalind Franklin maybe,will be forgotten.Oblivion is a sure thing,just as John Green says in his book,An Abundance of Katherines;“There is no level of fame or genius that allows you to transcend oblivion.The infinite future makes that kind of mattering impossible.”
So,back to the topic I wrote at the first paragraph,I keep asking myself “Who am I?”I read and read books to find out the answer which never having an ending.I’m planning to read the The World of Sophie and It’s A Kind of Funny Story this year.I don’t expect or hope to find the answer there but there is always still a ‘probably’ in every ‘impossible things’ right?I have read many philosophical books,including Supernova series,Filosofi Kopi,Rectoverso and many more and I’m never getting tired of it.
I hate living in this world.Yeah,I do hate.I hate seeing violence and crime and cruelty,they’re gross!And the worst is they are scattered around me,around our life.Next time when you sip your morning coffee at Starbucks,try to think about the workers who have planted the coffee all day long but never can taste Frappucinno even once in their life-time.Also,whenever you’re going on a ferry for a vacation,Have you ever tried to care about the dockers who have to pull up heavy containers from dawn to dusk everyday?I have.Every time I do it,I just always feel depressed,mad,and having a headache(An annoying one which feels like there is someone trying to pinch your eyebrows).So,what do I do to forget all of these creepy worryings?I read.Thank God,I have a pretty good imagination so that I can escape this disgusting world.I always bought books,never get enough.Books are my pain killer,my nicotine,my ecstasy.I’m always carving for them.I need book the way I need my morning coffee,books keep me awake,awake in my fantasy world,a key to escape our boring and depressing world.
See ya. Muach.